Sometimes when we meet someone new, or even if we have been with someone for a long time there’s a feeling deep down that makes you wonder “is he even that into me?”. If you’re worried about whether or not he’s into you, the answer is simple. The fact that you are worrying about it is evidence enough that you know in your heart that something is not as it should be. Think back to the last person who really really wanted you. The person who did everything to try and please you, care for you, to be with you. If you didn’t have that person yet, it’s OK, just imagine how all of that would feel. If a guy isn’t doing those things for you, then it means he’s not that into you.
If you’re spending time with or even dating someone and he’s not putting in the effort, then he’s not that into you. If he’s not doing things to make sure he don’t lose you, then he’s not that into you. If he isn’t sharing intimate moments with you, then he isn’t that into you. Maybe you have seen glimpses of this in him and hold onto that, hoping he will shine again on you and yet time goes by and he doesn’t. And maybe its not even “you” that he isn’t that into. Maybe it’s him and his own insecurities that keep him from letting you in. On contrary to what our egos may be telling us, we really don’t have that much power over others. Don’t take it so personally, darling.
So before making a decision to dump the guy, let’s collect some facts first. Here are some signs that could mean he’s not that into you:
- Doesn’t text you to say good morning or goodnight and rarely checks in during the day.
- Cancels on you often and at the last minute (or is not respecting your schedule).
- Isn’t making much of an effort to get to know you or what makes you tick.
- If he isn’t making future plans with you.
- Tells you that he’s scared to be in a relationship.
- Doesn’t offer to help you out when you need it and isn’t there for you.
- If he’s unreliable.
- Lets days go by without talking to you or seeing you.
- Doesn’t ask you about your interests and avoids sharing his interests with you.
- If one of you goes out of town and you don’t hear from him at all.
To qualify him for Dumpsville, look for at least 3 behaviours listed above and ask yourself if these 3 things really matter all that much to you anyway or if you’re willing to continue on with the way things are going. Next, I want you to ask yourself if you’re even that into him in the first place. Sometimes our egos love to get in the way of how we really feel deep down. The right person will never make you feel these ways. Whenever someone rejects us, the ego tends to step in and get us confused or even panicked. How can that guy that you didn’t even really like anyway not be that into YOU? Think about this for a minute.
When he’s not that into you, take it into your own hands and make a decision about what you want and what you’re willing to accept. Instead of playing a game of draw or going crazy if he’s not responding to your last message (the one you sent days ago), you can liberate yourself of the pain that goes along with waiting by stepping away and focusing on yourself. By the way, no guy who really wants you would ever let a day go by on purpose where he doesn’t talk to you or see you. You’ve got to let him know where you draw the line and set some boundaries. You’ve got to redirect your focus back on you. This will look attractive to him, and if he steps it up, great. If not, good riddance.
So if it turns out that he’s not that into you, don’t take it personally and stick around trying to convince him otherwise. It’s a sign to re-direct your attention elsewhere. Listen, I get it. It can be hard to break it off with someone who you’ve gotten to know – maybe even been intimate with a couple of times. But you’re not doing yourself any favours by holding on and hoping for what could be.
Distract yourself. Focus on you. Get out of the house. Make time to work out or start a new hobby. Go and have some fun, try out that new dating website and forget about that guy. Trust me when I say that there is someone else out there for you who will treat you right.
xox
Colleen
